The Mating Call
by NoodlePie13
Summary: Ever wonder how to attract the perfect mate? Do you flirt around or wait for them to come to you? Do you change yourself to be as perfect as possible or just be yourself? How about do a mating call? That wasn't exactly Allen's first choice of action, but in the end, it worked out...a little too much.
1. Chapter 1

**My friend and I, have been talking about this story for some time now, and I was bored and finally I've written it! It is extremely weird and random and I just don't know... :) It will contain a bunch of random crack pairings(?) that I don't really ship. Hope you enjoy this weird and random story!**

**Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man Belongs to Katsura Hoshino, not me, sadly.**

It all started one day—a Saturday to be exact—when Komui thought he the grandest of plans. Allen had been minding his own business reading a book in the Black Order library. It was early, so hardly anyone was in the room, so Allen made the poor mistake of believing that for once in his life in the Black Order, he would get some peace and quiet. Well, granted, he did have at least twenty minutes of somewhat peace and quiet. Somewhat meaning that there was this other person in the room who wasn't exactly the quietest of people. This person, was Komui Lee. Now he was there already when Allen arrived at the library, and at the time the branch officer was silent. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that the man was half asleep. It was early after all. But after the man had his coffee that his kind sister had brought to him a little less than an hour ago, he was throwing books around, mumbling loudly to himself, dropping papers, and shouting for Reever's help almost constantly.

Allen tried to ignore it, in fact, he was doing quite the phenomenal job at it too. He hadn't even gotten angry, because he was that kind of a person. After a while, his stomach had grumbled, asking for its next meal. Yes, he had already eaten just over an hour ago, because he does tend to wake up super early and eat just as early, but his stomach apparently already emptied out and was asking for more. He stood up to appease to his stomachs desire, when Komui suddenly snapped out of his chair, tipping the wooden chair to the floor in the process.

"Allen, wait!" he had called out, practically sprinting to where Allen was standing.

Allen waited politely, slightly scared of what the crazy man wanted with him now. He was fearful that the man was going to investigate his arm to check for anything in need of fixing, but was relieved when the branch chief just stood there. "What is it, Komui?"

A wide grin stretched across Komui's pale face. "I just got the perfect idea, and I need your help."

Allen's eyes narrowed with suspicion. It wasn't often that it was Allen in particular that Komui needed for help. Granted, Komui does send him on what Allen would consider an excessive amount of missions. Allen suspects that Komui is trying to keep Lenalee out of harm's way by putting someone else in harm's way. And most of the time, that means Allen. "That depends…" he replied cautiously.

"So you know how animals make a certain noise or whatever that attracts the opposite gender?" Komui questioned with the utmost curiosity. "You know, mainly for mating purposes?"

The white-haired boy gave a frown, already not liking where this conversation was heading. "Yeah, what about it?"

Komui's grin seemed to spread wider than humanly possible in his excitement. "Well, I've been researching and I discovered that many different animals do this to get mates. But then a thought occurred to me, Allen." Komui pause and slung an arm around the uncomfortable Allen's shoulders for added dramatic effect. "Why don't humans do that?"

Allen gave a nervous half smile. "Because they have brains?"

"That's what I thought, too," Komui agreed, but then shook his head, "But then I immediately remembered that all animals also have brains. So that's not an option."

Allen shrugged under Komui's arm. "We have good looks and brains," he tried suggesting.

"You're kind of getting it," Komui praised him with a smile, "but that's not it either. It's because humans have common sense and the ability to use words. But in theory, what if we couldn't talk? How would we be able to get mates?"

Allen scratched at his cheek, with a nervous smile as he tried to wrap him mind around what Komui was saying. He couldn't tell what it was the Komui was insinuating and what Komui was likely going to ask him. He did ask for his help after all…

Komui spoke before Allen could give even a guess at an answer. "We'd have to resort to what many animals do and give a mating call!"

"A mating call?"

"Yes, Allen, a mating call," Komui confirmed with all seriousness.

"And what does any of this have to do with me?" Allen questioned, somewhat scared of what Komui's answer may be.

"I want to test that theory of mine," Komui began. "Can humans perform a mating call—with no words—and successfully attract a mate?"

Allen quickly ducked out of Komui's arm and shook his head vigorously. "No, no, no! I am _not_ doing a mating call! Why would I even do that?"

Komui suddenly flung himself on his knees and gripped his hands together in a pleading manner. "Please, oh please, Allen? I need someone to do this and I wouldn't let my dear young Lenalee do that! And Kanda would kill me if I even spoke of this to him! And Bookman said that Lavi was unavailable! You're the only one! Please?"

The young white-haired exorcist didn't know what to say. It wasn't that he believed that anything was going to happen, because face it, if he even made a single noise that was supposed to be a mating call, the only reaction he'd get would be laughter. What was a mating call supposed to sound like, anyway? And he was greatly scared of what may happen if, by chance, the mating call does work. Who would come? Would he even know the person?

"Why don't you do it?" Allen asked, trying to avert the project on to someone other than himself. "Or Johnny? Or even Reever?"

"I can't do it! I'm the researcher!" Komui whined, still on his knees. "And I want you to do it! Everyone at the Black Order loves you…" At Allen's raised eyebrow, Komui shook his head. "Most of Black Order," Komui corrected himself, "loves you. One person's bound to respond!"

"What if I don't want anyone to respond?" Allen questioned.

"Please Allen? I'll get Jerry to make you favorite food and I'll make sure General Cross remains as far away from you as possible and I'll even lay off on the missions I give you!" Komui was basically begging and pleading at this point. Which, wasn't something Allen was particularly comfortable with.

"Um, only if you promise," Allen reluctantly gave in with an internal groan of complaint. "But only once, if it doesn't work, I'm done. Got that?"

Komui practically burst into tears as he threw his thin, long arms around Allen in a wild hug that involved lots of spinning and squeezing and squealing. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Allen managed to pry himself free from Komui's grip, and sighed loudly. "How am I supposed to do this anyway?"

Komui crossed his arms in thought. "Well, since we're humans, we can make a wide variety of noises. So try to make a noise that isn't a noise you would typically make. Maybe add some movement, like a mating dance or something."

It didn't sound like Komui knew what he was doing, but Allen didn't protested. But he did have to ask. "Should I do this in here or…?"

"In here should be fine," Komui nodded, already focused on Allen as if the boy was just a simple test subject. "Otherwise, we could go to the cafeteria."

Allen was quick to shake his head. "Um, no thanks."

"Alright," Komui waved him off towards an open space by the window. "Try doing it by the window, and do it loudly."

Allen seriously could not believe how it was that he got dragged into doing such a thing. It reminded him of Cross all over again. At least this time around, he didn't have to catch a lion or pay off any unreasonable debts to angry thugs. This time he just had to utterly embarrass himself and ruin his pride for all eternity. Sounds fair.

He dragged himself across the room towards the window as requested by the crazy branch chief, and stood there for a second.

"Go on and open the window," Komui said, "so they can hear you. I promise it's all part of my experiment."

"If anything happens," Allen began, threateningly, "I'm telling everyone it was your fault."

Komui just nodded and urged Allen to go one with the plan as told. While he watched excitedly and expectantly, Allen tried to come up with something. He wondered how he came from reading a book to agreeing to do a mating call for Komui's experiment. He already regretted agreeing to such a thing, but the idea of his favorite food and less missions and being very Cross limited was very enticing.

So, he took in a deep breath, peeked out the window to make sure there was nobody around—even if they were pretty high up in the first place.

Then he made the first noise that came to his mind. And man, was it just _ugly_. It sounded like a wail that repeatedly broke off and started again. If it wasn't him making the noise, he would have been positive that something was dying. His voice broke several times and he could faintly hear Komui telling him to move something, so he did the next thing that came to mind. He bent his knees out at a 90 degree angle and flung his arms up straight in a pinching manner. For some reason, it reminded him of what a demented crab would look like. To add movement, he waddled back and forth on his feet with his knees still bent and his so-called mating call still going on.

Then he stopped. And waited.

**This was originally supposed to be one chapter, but I didn't feel like writing so much in one chapter, so it'll come in a series of short chapters. When I get the time to write, at least. :)**

**Hope you guys liked it and tell me if you want more. **

**Have a nice day! **


	2. Chapter 2

**My deepest apologies for my absence. I honestly don't try...**

**Disclaimer: DGM is owned by it's rightful owner, not me that's for sure. :3**

Okay so nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. The two in the library stood in silence, while they waited for something, anything to happen. But nothing did. Komui was quick to sink to the floor in his defeat, a loud whine escaping his lips. While Allen sat himself down on the nearest chair with a shake of his head. He knew that nothing was going to happen, but apparently, Komui thought differently.

"WHY!? Komui waited. "It was so beautiful!"

Allen could only stare at the branch chief with wide eyes. _He thought that was beautiful!?_ Allen swore that something was literally _dying_ and he was the one who made the noise! And Komui thought it was beautiful? There was seriously something wrong with that man, but that, Allen already knew.

The librarian, who Allen had sworn had left the room a while ago to do something or another, walked passed them looking as if she just saw aliens or ghosts. Allen just glared at her, daring her to comment or judge him. They were supposed to be alone! She scampered of with an odd squeak, holding a few books to her chest as she rushed off.

Allen sighed. "Komui," he began, "you need to calm down."

Komui was still flailing about in his failure, but stopped when Allen addressed him. He looked up at Allen's eyes with a puppy dog face. "Do it again? Please!? Maybe they couldn't hear you!"

Allen gave a violent shake of his head. "No way! Nuh uh! I am NOT doing that again!"

Komui leaped at Allen and latched on to his leg as he begged. "Please? Please? Please? Please? Please?"

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Allen protested trying to shove Komui off. "I said I'd only do it once!"

They continued to struggle against each other, Allen trying to pry Komui off his leg while Komui clung on for dear life. They were so enveloped in their struggle, they almost missed the thud at the door.

The two froze, with Komui's hands latched onto Allen's pants in a desperate move to remain clinging to Allen, while Allen was tugging on one of the hands as well as shoving Komui's head away with his free hand. Unfortunately for Allen, when Komui's head darted towards the door, Allen's hand went slipping into Komui's mouth.

He recoiled back and scrunched up his face in disgust and flailed his hand to free it of Komui slobber, while Komui quickly unlatched himself and stared at the door with awe. "Did you hear that?"

"Ugh," Allen complained, trying to wipe the rest of the slobber off, not paying any attention to the door.

He didn't mean to seem rude, but getting Komui slobber on his hand was just plain gross. That deserved his attention more than some mysterious thump at the door. It was likely nothing.

Allen spoke too soon.

Suddenly the door burst open—actually, it was suddenly blasted off its hinges—and revealed a giant hammer. The hammer disappeared as soon as it had appeared and suddenly a sound strikingly similar to that of Allen's mating call erupted from the other side of the doorway.

"Can this be?" Komui wondered, a strange sparkle in his eyes.

Allen could only stare in horror as a familiar redhead came barging in, swinging his hammer over his head like a mad-man, walking similarly to how Allen had moved during his "mating dance", while mocking the same sound Allen had made for his mating call.

Lavi marched like this until he was standing directly in front of his apparent 'mate'. "STRIKE!" his eyes looked suspiciously like bulging, pink hearts as he flung his arms into the air as if he found a ginormous treasure.

Allen could barely speak, let alone believe his eyes or ears. "Um…."

The white haired exorcist could see the branch director silently cheering in success in the corner of his eye. He so wanted to strangle the man, but of course, he was too kind to do so. Plus, he was a little preoccupied at the moment.

The hearts in Lavi's eyes disappeared, but the lustful smile and drool still remained. "Finally," he cheered, "my true love reveals himself at last!"

Allen just about collapsed in his horror. His mating call didn't do this, did it? No it was a coincidence, right? Yeah, Lavi must be playing a prank or something on him, because that's just who the redhead was. A prankster. He liked screwing with everyone's minds like this, so why was now any different? Or did Lavi just suddenly realize he had these feelings and just couldn't hold back any more?

Allen wasn't sure if he wanted to know or not.

Especially, when he was suddenly rammed to the floor in a hug. "LAVI!" he loudly protested, as Lavi rubbed his cheek to top of Allen's head.

"You're so soft and small and warm!" Lavi claimed, ignoring Allen's protest. "You fit _perfectly_ into my arms!"

Allen could distinctively hear Komui dying of laughing as Allen flailed about in Lavi's arms, failing to overpower the now love-stricken Lavi. "Lavi, let go!"

Surprisingly, Lavi finally let go and stared into Allen's eyes with his green ones. Allen was fearful to say anything, in worry that Lavi might try to squeeze him to death with another hug. Allen was actually ready to run away in his fright. This was by far scarier than when he first met Kanda and Kanda wanted nothing more than to kill him. Actually, he was positive that Kanda _still_ wanted to be the one to kill him….

Speaking of Kanda…

Suddenly, someone wielding a sword came crashing into the window, like some crazy psycho. Again, the noise Allen had made earlier was being repeated back like some recorder, but only a little deeper. The sword was spinning wildly in some insane circles, blue hair flying behind the form of the sword-wielder.

The sword was thrown, apparently not important as Allen was yet again tackled into a hug. He went crashing down with this new person, this time, not so painlessly. They crashed down against a chair, but apparently his 'attacker' didn't care.

"Beansprout," his so-called-attacker practically growled, "you're mine."

Allen screamed. Literally, he let out the loudest scream he could possibly manage. The horror, the terror was too great. This had to be a nightmare. It had to be. He tried to claw his way out of the attackers iron grip, but it was in vain. The grip tightened to a point where Allen was started to get concerned for the amount of oxygen that was getting squeezed out of his lungs. He couldn't breathe!

"Yu!" Lavi suddenly screamed, also trying to pry the 'attacker', also known as Yu, or preferably, Kanda. "He's MINE!"

Kanda shot up, still dragging poor Allen in his arms possessively, and glared a deadly glare towards the redhead. "Only beansprout can call me that!"

Lavi's stuck his tongue out and held his hammer in the air with a smirk. "I was here first, _Yu!_"

Kanda dropped Allen gently, much to Allen's surprise and proceeded to stand protectively in front of his new-found love. "He loves me the MOST!"

The two then proceeded to fight to what Allen assumed might end in someone's death. He ran over to Komui, who had fallen off the table in his laughter. He was groaning between his laughs, clutching his stomach when Allen pulled him up.

"What have you done!?" Allen demanded.

Komui shook his head, unable to speak. Allen shook him, demanding an answer.

Allen was terrified out of his mind at the moment. Lavi—as surprising as it was that he responded—wasn't too bad of a shock. Actually, Allen often questioned whether or not the redheaded exorcist was straight or gay or what. Lavi made people wonder like that. But Kanda—of all people—even if Allen's never seen the boy get romantically interested in _anyone_ knew that without a doubt, Kanda wasn't interested in men. But here Kanda was, fighting for Allen's love.

And it absolutely terrified the living daylights out of Allen.

He thought Akuma were scary. He thought the Noah were absolutely frightening. And even the Earl was mortifying, despite his looks. But nothing, and he meant _nothing_ topped having Kanda fall madly in love with him after hearing his mating call. Now, _that_, was the most terrifying, scary, scaring thing that Allen has ever witnessed.

Before Allen could receive his much needed answer from Komui, a worryingly loud crash sounded just behind the two. Allen spun around to find Kanda standing victorious over a fallen Lavi's chest. "Ha, ha!" he cheered gallantly, "I have won!"

Kanda suddenly locked eyes with the frightened Allen, who dropped Komui. Kanda smirked and began marching over to Allen, showing off battle wounds. Allen was frozen, when Kanda came and swooped him off his feet like a princess.

"Uh…Kanda?" Allen began. He was utterly speechless.

Kanda began carrying Allen away as if he was some kind of prize. Allen wanted to protest, but Kanda had a scary look in his eye. Allen had glaring contests with Kanda all the time, after all, they were always at each other's neck, but nothing compared to the possessive glare that rested in Kanda's eyes. They dared anyone to challenge him to steal Allen away.

Allen's mating call did this? How!? Allen was positive that the mating call wasn't going to work. Actually, he was quite relieved when nothing had happened at first. And now he knew why.

"Where are you taking me?" Allen stuttered as he spoke.

Kanda held Allen closer and muttered something just quiet enough so Allen couldn't exactly make out what he said, but Allen was almost positive the blue-haired samurai had said, "_Mine!_"

"KOMUI!" Allen desperately wailed. "SAVE ME!"

He suddenly began trying to get out of Kanda's grasp, but Kanda was too strong. Allen didn't like confessing, but Kanda's grip was too strong for Allen to escape. Well, maybe if he used his innocence…

And abruptly, Allen could hear several sounds that were very similar to his own mating call coming from the hallway outside of the library. Allen stopped struggling and Kanda let him go and pushed him behind him as he held up his Mugen. He literally growled.

Allen slowly scooted away, before sprinting off to hide in the corner of the library, but he wasn't fast enough. He was suddenly swamped by hugs as a group of three tried to see if Allen could be shared in equal parts of three.

"Ow!" he groaned as he felt his muscles being stretched.

Surrounding him was, Johnny, Reever, and Jerry. "MINE!" they all shouted angrily as they played tug-of-war with poor little Allen.

Komui was still dying of laughter.

But Kanda was not. It was like a bomb had went off. Allen was unfortunately stuck in the middle of a battle between the responders of his mating call. He might pass out from the fright of it all. Especially since not a single woman has responded to his call yet…

A thought suddenly occurred to him. _What did that make him?_

Still crammed between Johnny, Reever, Jerry, and Kanda, Allen wondered how this could have turned out worse, but then he realized that it was a mistake wondering that. Because exactly as he thought that, another person came bursting through the window.

And this time, Komui wasn't laughing…

And Allen truly thought he might die.

**Sorry for cliffhanger, but it had to be. I hope I won't leave you guys hanging for too long this time. I also want to work on my other stories, but who knows when that'll happen. **

**I just want to make it clear that these are just crack!pairings. I really don't ship any of these, but if you do, then yay! :3**

**Have a good day! **


	3. Chapter 3

**My apologies for my lateness. I had computer issues and a busy school life. But I've managed to get in TWO updates today, so I'm happy! :D You should be too. **

**Disclaimer: DGM belongs to it's rightful owner. Not. Me. :(**

Allen wanted to cry.

Why did all the bad things happen to him?

He literally thought that he saw his life flash before his eyes as his newest responder came flying at him. Literally. A horrifying wail that sounded too similar to that of Allen's mating call got louder and louder as it approached. Komui had already ran for his life, and Allen could only wish that he could do the same. He would have, had he not been sandwiched between four people who were currently trying to tear Allen apart trying to win him over. They should know, ripping him to pieces wasn't going to make him love them anymore, or at all actually.

Allen came to one realization in these past, fleeting moments that could very well be his last. He hated bowling. Because the next thing he knew, he was one of the bowling pins along with the four who were trying to tear him apart. They were either sent flying in some direction Allen didn't know, nor did he care at this particular moment, or they were squashed on the spot. Sadly, Allen was squashed on the spot.

"ALLEN WALKER! ALLEN WALKER! ALLEN WALKER!"

Allen could hear the booming voice emanating from the body that was acting as an enormous fly swatter, with poor Allen as the fly. And none other the terrifying, creepy, mortifying, fat, ugly, weird, smelly Millenium Earl.

The body of the Earl, which seemed almost bloated in Allen's opinion, rolled off Allen, finally giving the boy some breathing air. Allen wasted no time.

He was out of the library that was filled with people who wanted him as their mate before a single person could utter his name. Or scream in the Earl's case.

"ALLEN WALKER! ALLEN WALKER! ALLEN WALKER!"

If Allen had the time, he'd literally curl up in fetal position in a closet and cry. Unfortunately, being Allen Walker, meant he didn't get the luxury of hiding away in a closet to cry. He couldn't think of anything worse that having the Millenium Earl, of ALL people, chasing after him with creepy-like love in his eyes.

Allen was torn. He couldn't tell which was worse. Having a possessive/aggressive Kanda fall for him, or have the Millenium Earl chasing after his heart.

Allen could hear the stampede behind him that consisted of the Millenium Earl, Kanda, Reever, Johnny, Jerry, and even Lavi who had recovered from his defeat from Kanda. The one in the lead was the Millenium Earl. He was lumbering through the halls behind Allen, who was running for his dear life, completely forgetting that he had his handy-dandy, flying umbrella to fly on.

"LET ME LOVE YOU!"

"NO!" Allen screeched back, hoping that maybe, just maybe the nightmare would end. It would turn to be the nightmare Allen had wished it was and Allen would wake up peaceful in his bed or anywhere. Anywhere was better than this!

Allen thought he was going to be free finally, because he could see the exit of the Black Order in front of him, but sadly that was so close, but too far. One of his pursuers got smart and decided to use their innocence. And just as Allen was about to wrap his fingers around the doors handle, he was suddenly being pulled back at rapid speeds by something big and hard.

How he had missed the ever-so-common chant that was usually used by this innocence's accommodator, Allen didn't know. He fear and desperation to leave must be overwhelming his senses.

And once again, he was in the arms of….

Allen paled. Not this again.

"Oi! I got him! GIVE HIM BACK!"

Kanda's grip became stronger than what it was before, pressing all the air out of Allen's lungs. "He's _mine._" There Kanda goes again, with his vicious growling.

Before Allen could here Lavi's, the one who prevented his freedom, response, Kanda was on the move. Allen couldn't remember the last time he had gone so fast. Had Kanda always ran this fast? By the time Allen found a space to view behind them, the group that had been following him since the library, were far, far away.

Although still horrified out of his mind, Allen found this situation much more agreeable. Without the crowd he could think and being able to think meant he'd be able to escape Kanda's grasp. Which made him think. Where were they even headed?

"Um...Kanda," Allen tried speaking through Kanda's possessive, iron grip. "Where are you taking me."

Kanda seemed awfully determined to take him somewhere. Allen highly hoped that Kanda wasn't going to trap him somewhere where nobody could find him just so Kanda could keep him as his little pet.

"_Mine._" Kanda growled deeply, not responding to Allen's question.

Allen felt a terrified shiver run down his spine. At Kanda's words, or word, Allen really began to struggle. He even went as far as to activate his innocence, but much to Allen's surprise and horror, Kanda's grip had only gotten tighter.

_Had my mating call given him superhuman strength or something!?_ Allen demanded silently. He knew Kanda was stronger than a lot, maybe even most, but Allen didn't Kanda to have inhuman strength like this that rivaled Allen's innocence.

That was when things took yet another turn down hill.

Kanda was sprinting at inhuman speeds, holding Allen with inhuman strength when suddenly Allen was sent sprawling to the ground along with Kanda. Allen slowly pushed himself up to see a strange, disturbing sight.

"That little idiot, is mine!"

And Allen had thought Kanda and the Millenium Earl were bad…

Kanda was slumped on the ground, struggling against the weight of someone's black boot. For a split second, Allen thought he was saved. The tone of this familiar person's voice wasn't that of someone who was lovesick, like all the others seemed to have. He thought maybe, just maybe, his luck would turn up and he would be saved from this madness.

Except, when the person standing over Kanda met eyes with Allen, he knew that he was gravely mistaken. Those weren't the eyes of a savior. They were the eyes of the devil.

And the devil looked madly in love with Allen, just like all the rest of them. He belted out his deeper, version of Allen's mating call.

"Allen, my boy, come with me," the devil held out his hand as if he was a prince taking his princess out on a date.

"M-master…?"

Allen was frozen, still in shock of this new discovery. Cross wasn't even supposed to be at the Black Order, let alone in the country!

_Don't tell me, _Allen paled, _my mating call reached that far!?_

Cross gently grabbed Allen's hand and went to kiss the back of his hand, like Allen has seen Cross do with so many ladies….

"NOPE!" Allen slapped his master across the face, having none of that. With that Allen was once again sprinting away.

Only…

He ran the wrong way.

"Allen! My one and only true love!"

Suddenly, Allen was being spun around and around and around in a wild circle, all while being squished up against Lavi's chest. And then they were at it again. Reever, Johnny, and Jerry had joined in for yet another match of tug-of-war with Allen as their rope. As soon as the newcomers joined in Allen sort of wished that he was alone with Kanda again, because at least then he'd be able to escape easier.

"ALLEN WALKER IS MINE~! NONE OF YOU FILTHY EXORCISTS GET TO HAVE HIM~!" the Millenium Earl boomed out.

A feral growl broke into the mix of shouts. Allen knew exactly who this one was. "He's. _MINE!_"

"You're all idiots, this idiot is mine and mine only," Cross argued, apparently trying to seem sweet and kind without removing the insults. Did he think sounding sweet and nice would make Allen fall for him?

_Heck no! _Allen loudly protested in his mind. It was all just so messed up. Why did Komui have to go and ruin mornings that were perfect and peachy and just dandy!?

And through all of this, not a single woman has showed up.

It wasn't that he was wanting another person chasing after him demanding that they love him and that he loved them the most, but it would make him feel a lot better if he knew that at one girl was interested in him. Not just boys, and men much, much older than him…

"Allen!"

Allen's head shot in the direction of the shout. _That_ voice he knew for sure was friendly. He never thought he'd be so happy to hear the voice of Komui. He looked towards the man with hope in his eyes, as Komui ran towards him. Strangely, Komui was clad in a suit that somewhat resembled armor and had a weird looking gun thing in his hands…

"Um...Komui?"

All the eyes of his love pursuers zeroed in on Komui, who froze where he stood. Allen sent him a look that expressed his desperation to get free from this mad match of tug-of-war that Allen's body wasn't exactly agreeing with.

"Uh…" Komui waved innocently at those surrounding Allen. "I'm not here to steal you man, don't mind me okay. You just continue with what you were doing!"

Before Allen could get angry that Komui would sell him out like that, Komui aimed the strange looking gun at Allen, or at least Allen though it was directed at him. Komui then fired the weapon without giving Allen a single warning of any kind. And then, it was silent. Allen finally felt free and at peace.

He blinked and glanced around him, finding that there was nobody except for him and Komui. Allen let this sink in for a few moments before launching himself at his savior.

"YOU SAVED ME!" Allen squeezed the air out Komui's lungs, much like how Kanda had done so to Allen. "I THOUGHT YOU LEFT ME THERE TO DIE!"

Komui proudly shouldered the weapon and smirked at Allen. "And you doubted me didn't you?"

Allen sheepishly scratched his neck.

Komui chose to ignore that. "Anyway, if my calculations were correct, I've only saved you about an hour. At most."

"What?"

"I just transported them somewhere far, far away," Komui announced. "I wouldn't doubt it if the Earl returned within the next 20 minutes, since he has that umbrella with him, and Lavi has his hammer..."

"Great," Allen commented. "And how exactly did you do this?"

"Science, my friend," Komui stated proudly, sticking a finger into the air. "Science!"

Allen went and sat against the wall, rubbing his sore muscles as he tried to catch a break. Komui stood nearby, his gun at hand, ready to fire anyone else who dared approach Allen for declarations of love.

Komui put on a devilish smile. "It worked, it actually worked! Allen do you understand what this means!?"

"That I'll spend the rest of my life running away from males who happen to fall in love with me," Allen wondered.

"Yeah, I don't know what went wrong there," Komui wondered as well. "Is it maybe because you're…"

"No!" Allen snapped before Komui could finish his sentence. "Absolutely not!"

"Shh!" Komui suddenly hushed Allen and looked around the gun ready to fire. "Did you hear that?"

Allen didn't know if he wanted to cry, or if he just wanted to give up and surrender. Distantly, they could hear a noise that was a near exact copy of Allen's mating call, except a few pitches or more higher. Almost like a childs or a females.

"See, I told you!" Allen insisted. "Girls can like me!"

"That sounds more like a child," Komui pointed out, a smirk plastered on his face.

Suddenly, there was a boy clad in green with spiky hair running towards Allen, still mimicking Allen's mating call. Komui went to fire his gun, but Allen held him off.

"It's just a child!" Allen protested, when Komui demanded to know what Allen stopped him from saving his life. "He can't possibly be as much trouble as the others."

Komui relented and watched with amusement as the boy approached closer. "A child _and_ a boy," he mumbled quietly to Allen, who threw daggers at Komui via glare.

But suddenly the boy wasn't alone. A fluffy, white-haired boy abruptly appeared behind the boy clad in green. "What are you doing?"

The boy in green blinked innocently. "Going to my true love…"

The white-haired boy gave the boy in green a good swat on the head. "Baka, I'm right here."

The boy in green looked over to Allen like a lost puppy, when the white-haired boy suddenly let out a guttural noise that sounded a lot like, "BAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH." Except it didn't sound anything like a sheep. And just like that, a new light shined in the spiky-haired boy.

"Aw," he gushed, now looking at the other boy with the same love in his eyes that the others had for Allen, except less aggressive or possessive. "I didn't know you cared so much!"

The white-haired boy embarrassedly shoved his hands into his pockets and began walking away, the other boy follow suit. And with that, they were gone.

"What was that?" Allen asked Komui, as if the Branch Director had an answer.

"I don't know…"

And for a few minutes, a few peaceful minutes, Allen was able to enjoy the silence. No one was screaming for his love or dragging him off to places unknown or trying to rip him to pieces, limb from limb, and neither was anyone trying to seduce him. The thought of it sent chills down his spine. It was too terrifying to even think about, and he was going to have to deal with that some more when the others return.

"You know," Komui broke the silence. "You should probably hide."

"Why?" Allen wondered. He doubted hiding would help, saying that his master knew exactly where to find him and Cross hadn't even been in the country, he didn't think that hiding would do much to help him at this point.

Allen didn't know what happened next.

He was abruptly swept up into someones arms and into the air. Literally. They were flying. Komui was screaming for him, but his voice was fading quickly as this new person flew Allen out of the Black Order. Allen tried to see who had taken him this time, but a few things prevented him from getting a clear view. For one, every time he tried to look, he either got a facefull of hair or one of the hands that was hold him, pressed his face into their shoulder.

"Where are you taking me!" his voice was muffled against the thick coat the person wore. Yep. Definitely an exorcist. _So, _Allen thought, _who can fly in the Black Order_.

Allen paled. He just had to open his mouth didn't he. At least he got what he wanted. A girl.

"Lenalee, what are you doing?"

And suddenly he was falling. He screamed for dear life, flailing his arms as he fell through the air. Lenalee came into full view as she caught him before gently setting him down on something soft, yet hard. He glanced around and rolled around in the enormous fluff that felt like a very comfy bed.

"Do you like it?" Lenalee asked sweetly and innocently. Almost as if she wasn't infected by Allen's mating call. Great. Allen started the next apocalypse and he was the sole reason why it started. Well, technically it was Komui… But Allen did listen to the man. "I made it for you, Allen."

Allen observed what he was laying in. It took him a moment, but then he recognized it. He was laying on a ton of pillows. Literally. They were everywhere. He moved some of them around to find out what wasn't so soft and realized that underneath the tons of pillows that he knew came from all the exorcist bedrooms, was a ton of sticks.

Lenalee just made him a giant nest.

"I said, did you like it?" Lenalee asked a smile still on her face.

"Y-yes! I love it!" Allen replied, because behind Lenalee's sweet face, she had that crazed look in her eye that showed that something wasn't quite right with her, much like everyone else that Allen's seen today that have been affected by his mating call. "But where are we?"

"On the roof of the Black Order of course!" Lenalee announce proudly gesturing to the grand view around them.

Allen glanced around, but didn't get very far. His vision zeroed in on the form of yet another girl. One that he wasn't so pleased to see. Not that he was pleased to have Lenalee kidnap him and put him in a nest like some mother hen, but what he saw wasn't exactly agreeable with his mind. He couldn't even figure out how it was possible.

There, on the opposite part of the roof, laid an unconscious Road Kamelot.

Lenalee noticed his gaze and scowled uncharacteristically. She ran over to the unconcious body and lifted it in her arms with no care and carried the body to the ledge.

"Lenalee, what are you doing?" Allen demanded when Lenalee started pushing Road of the tower.

Not that Allen wanted to protect Road in any way, he just didn't see how Lenalee of all people would be doing such a violent thing. And the fall could kill her! Couldn't it…? But she was a Noah, though…

Lenalee looked over and smiled at him as if nothing was wrong as Road fell the distance from the top of the tower to the ground. "Oh nothing, just getting rid of the competition~!"

Now he realized that off all the people, even beyond Kanda, the Earl, and Cross, Lenalee was by far the worse. She took this whole thing to a whole new level.

"Now Allen, time for food!" Lenalee started making gagging noises as if she was trying to spit something up.

"Wait, no! I'm fine! I'm not hungry!" Allen immediately interrupted her, before she could get anything out.

Lenalee frowned. "You don't like pre-chewed food?"

Allen violently shook his head. "Nope. No thank you! But you can get me something else if you'd like!" He added that last part when she started throwing death glares at him for rejecting her pre-chewed food.

"Okay!" she announced happily. "I'll go get you some food from the kitchen, kay!"

Allen nodded and watched her fly away.

That was when Allen realized.

He was stuck on the roof.

Great.

**Many of you basically guessed who they/it was last chapter. I commend you for that. :P Anyway, did you like this chapter? **

**Can anyone guess who the two young boys were? It shouldn't be hard. **

**Thank you so much for reading and have a great day! :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Please excuse my forever long absence. I have been kindly reminded that I have stories to attend to. So, here is the long awaited chapter, its short, but hopefully sweet. :)**

**Disclaimer: DGM belongs to its rightful owner, Katsura Hoshino.**

Climbing down from the tower was anything but easy. it was hard enough as it was without the use of his innocence, but harder so when he has to avoid any sticks that came loose from Lenalee's giant nest. His fear of gaining any unwanted attention was perfect incentive to avoiding using his innocence at all costs. Plus, Lenalee had the right idea. He was get hungry. Really hungry. That was what happens when a mating call interrupts your usual third breakfast. Though, he'd never accept anything anyone offered him right now. He couldn't trust the food to not be poisoned with something to help aid in his capture.

It was him against the world.

Plus Komui...but...

With the development of Lenalee joining the battle for his love, he could only imagine what the horror of meeting back up with Komui would be like...

He winced as his arm muscles began to cramp up loosening his already dangerously lax grip. His vision of the nearest window was limited severely as he had to remain close to the walls due the increasingly strong winds. What was the point of this tall of a tower anyway? And why was there no other entrance to the roof?

He knew his time was running short as soon as he heard a strange echo in the woods around him. He recognized that sound from anywhere. After all, he invented the sound. he hadn't realized so much time had passed since Komui had sent all his pursuers away. Well, all of them except Komui's own sister.

It was only a matter of time before Lenalee showed back up. Likely chances are, she won't be very happy to see that he had escaped, or at least had attempted to escape. He wasn't entirely sure about how successful he was at escaping. He knew that with the build of the tower, he should be nearing a window, that is unless the height and fear of Lenalee's return had disoriented him so much that he didn't even know that much. Though, he was less worried about the location of the nearest window than he was about what Lenalee might do to him upon discovering his disappearance from the nest. He shivered at the mere thought of it.

Just as the noises of his mating call became slightly loud and more clear, he felt his toes settle on the top ledge of a window. Hope and excitement bubbled up from within, nearly escaping his lips as a shout of glee. There was hope after all!

"Allen!?"

Just in time too! Lenalee's loud inquisitive voice was sounded from several feet above him. From the sounds of it, she hadn't quite figured out that he left yet. He didn't plan on staying out there for long. Especially as he started to here her ruffling about the nest looking for him...

Yet, fate had other plans for the poor white-haired boy. It was terribly unfortunate that his feet lost the slightest bit of grip and sent him plummeting down the side of the tower. All breath was sharply sucked from his lungs as he plunged farther and farther down as the unlevel, rocky surface quickly rose towards him. A little more than half way down, he found his voice as he went to activate his innocence. Though he never got the chance to even do so. He was just moments away from becoming a permanent stain on the rocks below when he was suddenly swept into someone's arms.

At this point, he didn't know whether or not to be relieved that he wasn't a splat on the cold, merciless ground, or terrified that he wasn't spared the trouble.

When he said arms, he hadn't actually meant "arms". Unless arms were itchy and long enough to wrap around him several times, he was pretty sure that what was wrapped around him, wasn't arms. Instead, he was wrapped in several layers of perfectly golden, long hair. He gagged several times, nearly losing what breakfast he had managed to get this morning, as the loose strands of hair situated over and in his mouth. Strangely, it tasted very sweet.

He didn't hesitate to activate his innocence, but realized that it was still useless as it was pinned to his own body by the seemingly endless strands of hair. Hair that seemed to be almost indestructible. Which only meant one thing...

"Mr. Pupil! We have come to your rescue!"

'We', meaning, Jasdevi. Allen was no longer relieved that he hadn't become an eternal splat on the ground. It had no longer become a convenience for him. Struggle and scream as he might, there was no breaking free from the strands of Jasdevi's hair. He could only manage to not choke and die from the hair in his mouth as his latest catch tore away in the opposite direction of the Black Order. He silently prayed that whatever madness his mating call had started would wear off soon, because he'd rather be fighting these people to the death than be claimed as some sort of mate.

He could hear their victorious, maniacal laugh as they stormed through the trees and away from the place Allen had called home for some time now. As the tower got further and further away, Allen saw his chances of escape dwindling down even more. Possibly down to the single digits were he to start counting the percentages of his chances or escape. Eventually, they would find a place to lock him up or hide him away from everyone else. Eventually, they'll find a place Allen would never be able to escape even if he used his power to the deepest depths and strength he was able.

Maybe if he tried using his innocence when they let their guard down...

Without warning, he was practically flying through the air, a nearby tree growing closer and closer. He threw his arms out to catch himself, but instead of crashing into the hard surface he was expecting, he suddenly found himself colliding with something—no, someone—soft as they belted out their version of Allen's mating call.

Just like that, he was suddenly being carried off again. Of course, this new person thought it was a good idea to press his face into their chest, giving him no doubt that whoever was carrying him was a girl, all while nearly suffocating at the same time.

"Let me go!" his voice was muffled against his latest catch's chest. He struggled to move his face up to both get a good look at who he was dealing with and catch a much needed breath before he passed out.

"Don't worry, Allen," her voice sounded panicked and more high pitched than usual. "I'll save you!"

"Miranda!?" Allen didn't know why he was so shocked that Miranda had shown up. After all, he's had more than his fair share of surprising wannabe suitors.

"I got you love! I'll protect you and keep you safe from harm!" Miranda's grip on him tightened to a point where Allen felt some of his bones pop. He tried telling her that she was the one harming him, but when he saw the look in her eyes, he held his tongue.

It wasn't one of pure murder, that he was relieved, nor was it one of pure lust as the case seemed to be for most every other person. Instead, her gaze was one of unsullied determination and unadulterated focus. Even so, there was just a hint of lust hidden beneath the determination and focus. Enough to let Allen know that neither of the two were free from his mating call.

He struggled to see past her shoulder as she ran towards the Black Order that had gotten so far away, to see a little less than unhappy Jasdevi chasing them down in full-on rage mode. At this point, Allen felt ready to put himself in shut-down and let whatever happen happen, because it doesn't look like he'll have a chance to escape. Not when his only ally may or may not want to murder him in a thousand different ways the next time they meet.

"GIVE BACK PUPIL!"

Miranda's hair whipped into Allen's face as she glanced quickly at their pursuer. "_Never!_"

Never once had Allen ever seen Miranda get so vehement about something. Not even when her clock innocence was involved. This fact slightly terrified him, yet for some reason, he was comforted to know that Jasdevi definitely wasn't getting Allen back. Because he'd prefer anything else than being in the grips of a Noah, especially when they were lovesick with him.

"I got you," Miranda quietly promised the white-haired boy. "I got you. I got you."

She began chanting this under her breath as the trees around them became a blur in their rush back to the Black Order. Allen let himself relax for just a moment, to allow himself some time to catch some much needed breath. He's been on the run for some time now, he had to be. Now that he mentions it, he didn't know how much time had passed since this whole horror show began. It wasn't that far into the morning that Komui had interrupted his peace with this latest experiment at Allen's expense.

His momentary peace was brought to an abrupt end as Miranda came to a hard halt before the tower doors. Allen stretched to crane his neck to see what stopped the girl. His heart skipped several beats in fear as he realized what terrible confrontation had just made an appearance.

"Let. Him. _Go._"

Allen heard more bones pop as Miranda's possessive grip on him tightened. "No."

"He wants me!"

"No, he want's me," Miranda assured the other girl. Miranda looked down to Allen who was too preoccupied with trying to make himself as less visible as possible in Miranda's arms. "Isn't that right, Love?" When he didn't respond, Miranda began shaking him. "_Isn't that right, LOVE!?"_

Never before had Allen wanted to cry so much. He didn't know if it was out of fear, stress, anger, confusion, or a large mix of it all. Either way, Allen was finding it hard to hold back. He shied away as best he could from Miranda's demanding gaze and Lenalee's possessive glare. Though, his current position in Miranda's arms made doing so very hard.

The little stand off between Miranda and Lenalee didn't last long though. The fated meet up was interrupted by a very angry Jasdevi who was now sporting a very bad hair cut.

Despite his situation, Allen almost laughed.

"Pupil is _MINE!_" Jasdevi declared, striking a menacing pose, or what Allen guessed was supposed to be a menacing pose. The hair killed the mood though.

The air suddenly felt much, much colder than it was moments ago. It was then that Allen noticed something truly terrifying, something that he would soon learn to dread more than anything else.

An alliance was forming.

Miranda looked to Lenalee and back to Jasdevi, a sharp look in her glance practically dripped with murderous intent. For a moment, Allen thought Miranda was about to set him down and let him run free. Though he was sadly, very sadly mistaken. "Lenalee," Miranda spoke, not sparing a glance Lenalee's way. "Hold my man."

And just like that, Miranda chucked the poor boy into the air and straight back into Lenalee's arms. Allen groaned in misery as Lenalee decided that hanging him by the leg was a fantastic idea. "_Our_ man," Lenalee corrected Miranda.

Allen could only watch as the fight of the century began, and it was all for him.

He just hoped it ended quickly, because there was about to be a lot more competition.

**Dun, dun, DUN! The plot thickens! Whelp, I hope you guys enjoyed the short chapter. I'll make no promises, but I'll try not to leave this as long as I had. Though, I will promise that I'm not dead and I'm still writing. Junior year just stinks that much. :P**

**Have a great day! **


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